The theme of 2022 for me, was Trust.

I’m not sure I’ve completely learned this lesson, or ever truly will, but I’ve been tested and shown time and time again that it is okay to TRUST.

I’ve never thought of myself as someone who didn’t trust people or the flow of life, etc… But I noticed that I have tried to control more lately because I desperately wanted certain outcomes in my life. And I worried and stressed that I might not get what I desired.

Pregnancy has transformed me. My connection to my baby, with my first pregnancy and current pregnancy has made me a new woman. We communicate, she knows exactly what I’m worried about, going through, want, all of it. She told me time and time again that she would wait for her birth until I was ready. Until I did all of the things I wanted to do to prepare. That I could have the birth of my dreams, to heal and to bring her to Earth in a beautiful and supportive way. That I wouldn’t have to fight for my right to birth my way. That I could be supported, with no interventions. To allow her to come into the world as she chooses, being her vessel, in intimacy with my husband. And I knew I could trust her, but I was afraid that I was making it all up. I was not.

I’m still practicing holding the remainder of this vision, because she is still inside me, safe and warm. We are awaiting her arrival. I am stepping aside into surrender, this is her journey and I’m here for it.

Looking back at this year, I have NO IDEA how I did all of the things I did. How was there even time? Some 2022 highlights…

My Studio space was built thanks to my husband, Dan.
I rebranded my business to Cosmic Heart Collective, more aligned to my vision.
I completed my Yoga Teacher Training and became a 200 RYT.
I got pregnant with our baby girl.
Summer was full of yoga offerings, classes and Harvest Host guests. The studio was active!
For the first time in my life, all of my friendships are truly aligned. I’ve felt more love and support from my friends, that I almost have no words for it.
I learned to ask for help and was moved beyond measure to receive it. Pregnancy begged for this and it was one of my greatest lessons.
We finished building our house JUST in time for Stella Rose to arrive. With the help of our friends and family. We are still in shock that it happened.
Everything I wanted to happen this year, DID happen. I’m still processing it all. It has been the most surreal year of my life.

As I write, Dan and I are in Ft Collins. Our care is with Tender Gifts Birthing Center and we wanted to be close, so we rented an Airbnb to wait for Stella’s birth. We’ve finally had time to be with each other and still cannot figure out how we did it. And there is so much more I won’t bore you with here that went on behind the scenes.

Looking back, I wished I wouldn’t have cried so many tears, worried so much, stressed about all of the what ifs. I wish I would have trusted that it was all going to happen, and be okay even if it didn’t. But I tried to control it all, and I guess I sort of did.

I’m honestly impressed by my capacity, especially during pregnancy. I have no idea how I ran my business, grew a baby, prepared for baby, planned/shopped for the house build, and just daily life all at once. I wouldn’t recommend it, but it was my path in 2022.

And now, I’m ready to birth this soul into the world and just cuddle her for a while. Without all of the other stuff. I’m excited to just focus on this baby and allow her to open me up and transform me in ways I cannot imagine.

So, for 2023, I have no plan except to lean into Motherhood. Cosmic Heart will continue, products will be available online/in studio. I’m not sure when classes will resume or what I’ll create next, but I’m opening up and surrendering to it all.

“Ishvara Pranidhana, the jewel of surrender presupposes that there is a divine force at work in our lives. Ultimately this guideline invites us to surrender our egos, open our hearts and accept the higher purpose of our being.” - Deborah Adele, The Yamas & Niyamas.

Trust & Surrender,
Rachelle